If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Don’t try to get even with those who wrong you, get ahead.

It is he who has broken the bond of marriage - not I. I only break its bondage.

We don't have this huge footprint, we are less likely to be targeted as, you know, occupiers [in Afghanistan and Iraq].

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.

The media, far from being a conspiracy to dull the political sense of the people, could be viewed as a conspiracy to disguise the extent of political indifference.

The real test of friendship is can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?

The bond between friends cannot be broken by chance; no interval of time or space can destroy it. Not even death itself can part true friends.

The heart that is at rest grows and develops from anything.

Surely there will be some nonhuman animals whose lives, by any standards, are more valuable than the lives of some humans.

Everyone has the perfect gift to give the world-and if each of us is freed up to give our unique gift, the world will be in total harmony.