If people really want to find you, they find you.

People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.

Alcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.

Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood.

Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human you've met and you're like, 'Yep, I like this one,' and you just do stuff with them.

I'm a nut, but not just a nut.

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

You know how funerals are not for the dead, they’re for the living? Bachelor parties are not for the groom, they’re for the uncommitted.

You can tell how boring a person is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through photos on their phone.

Just beat my record for most consecutive days without dying.

The secret is to have a sense of yourself, your real self, your unique self. And not just once in a while, or once a day, but all through the day, the week and life.

I criticize by creation, not by finding fault.

Success comes with a promise and a price. The price has to be paid in full and in advance before the promise is fulfilled.

At this moment, I am obscenely happy. Please don’t screw this up or dump me or cheat on me or divorce me.”“All right, ” he said.

The individual may be understood as one particular focal point at which the whole universe expresses itself - as an incarnation of the self, or of the Godhead, or whatever one may choose to call it.

Nurses nurse and teachers teach and tailors mend and preachers preach and barbers trim and chauffeurs haul and parents get to do it all.

People either love me or they hate me, or they don't really care.

Journalists don't need a get-out-of-jail-free card, ... Instead we should be given more access to information.

After nightfall, I wouldn't leave a burning building without an escort.

If God is incomprehensible to man, it would seem rational never to think of Him at all.

There are times when I'm watching an NFL quarterback struggling to get through the game, and I get bitter to some extent.