If procrastination were a marketable skill, I'd be a real hot commodity.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

When a cycle in your life repeats, you should troubleshot where the glitch is. Find the glitch and you will find your purposed journey.

God has given us our own unique paths to follow in life. What's interesting is no one's journey is ever the same.

Now I feel like James Bond. Suave and intelligent, breaking all the codes while looking fabulous.

I suppose this is the reason why diaries are so rarely kept nowadays- that nothing ever happens to anybody.

Never stop testing, and your advertising will never stop improving.

What we did in Iraq was exactly the right thing to do. If I had it to recommend all over again, I would recommend exactly the same course of action.

We are not these bodies, just souls having a bodily experience.

The mid-day meal is a well-intentioned scheme and has to be implemented effectively.

On both difficult and easy terrain, you must know the 'tenable' and 'fatal' ground. Occupy tenable ground and attack on fatal ground.

I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure