If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Psychiatrists classify a person as neurotic if he suffers from his problems in living and a psychotic if he makes others suffer.

I hold it that a little rebellion now and then is a good thing and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical.

A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.

My dad just imprinted in my mind from a very young age that you always do what you say you're gonna do when you say you're gonna do it.

I always find that what's unique to my clinics is the credentials I bring to the table

The laws of God work in the same way as the laws of Science. You cannot break them - you can only break yourself against them.

You can't ignore politics, no matter how much you'd like to.

All your personalities are absolute cover-ups, hiding your individuality.

And my problem was that I always tried to go in everyone's way but my own.

Man is always on the way.