If somebody is not on the same page with me humor wise, I can't give them that.

Brits have a better sense of humor in most ways. It's darker, more cutting.

When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.

I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.

It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian tiger-from a distance, preferably separated by bars.

You can write a little and can draw a little, but there's necessarily a limitation on both in a comic strip, since it appears in such a tiny space.

Sticking to my schedule, Ive gotten over seven months ahead, which allowed me to write a Pearls Before Swine movie script for the big screen.

I was a lawyer for 10 years, and when youre in law, things really have to get done, or somebody sues you. Its a great trick.

Most poetry just confounds me. I really want to like it, but I can't help thinking it's a hoax. (p. 24)

If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.

The writing is done on the computer, and the drawing is done by hand. I write, write, write, then I hit the illustration.

You know what they say, Two pairs a company, cheese a croud

The Big Dream shattered splinters into a thousand little dreams.

With love in the heart and kindness in the mind, nothing is impossible.

I'm not crazy, but it's a crazy life. I was raised in a crazy family and it took 31 years to get the crazy out of me.

Affliction hardens those whom it does not soften.

When you sleep in your cloak there 's no lodging to pay.

Only humans can cry tears.

I don't see, I think, any problems between India and the United States.

Once you learn how to do something, you don't lose it. Unless you die.

Freedom is not free, and we all have a lot of work ahead of us. And I perform the ultimate soundtrack to get the job done every day. We're not having any fun at all.