If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

I have a best friend and he is me.

Yeah, " I said because it led to more options than 'no'.

Greed is taking more than you need to feed. Avarice is hoarding, and stockpiling stolen, rotten goods.

I get all these loser preps coming up to me asking for autographs and all this crap, and I really want to tell them, 'My music is not for people like you!

It is, as Mr. Rokesmith says, a matter of feeling, but Lor how many matters ARE matters of feeling!

Marriage is a living sign that truly communicates the love of Christ and the Church.

I stayed a kid for a pretty long time, and the logistics of being in a band, I did not take seriously at all.

Do not enter into a learned discussion with your guests unless you are assured of their ability, so as not to put them to shame.

Artists and their subjects are the star-crossed lovers of the world. They recognize each other on impact.

I don't think a worship of nature is necessary to mount a really strong defense of the environment.