If something is good enough, it can be out there and people will see it.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

As a human race, we lost and we are still losing a lot of humanity in the process of progress

Dreams Are Where It All Begins

...a writer without authority? Impossible. as Kenneth Burke says, creation implies authority in the sense of originator....

Nobody holds a good opinion of a man who has a low opinion of himself.

Home sales are coming down from the mountain peak, but they will level out at a high plateau - a plateau that is higher than previous peaks in the housing cycle.

Men reverence one another, not yet God.

As soon as you move through the hospital doors you've removed yourself from real life. From the world we know. It's an alien world. Just enter those gates and you are in alien territory.

Your waist size should not be more than half your height.

Only by practice and non-attachment can we conquer mind.

David I knock you out! - While pointing to the camera with a smirk.