If the critics were always right we should be in deep trouble.

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret of happiness. Then if you're not a good mixer you can always fall back on your own company.

The French are a logical people, which is one reason the English dislike them so intensely. The other is that they own France, a country which we have always judged to be much too good for them.

I don’t work. I merely inflict myself on the public.

The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters.

The ball is man's most disastrous invention, not excluding the wheel.

A party: one arrives long after it's started, and one's going to leave long before it's over.

Every child should be placed on a doorstep to sell something. It's the best possible training for life.

When I asked my accountant if anything could get me out of the mess I am in now, he thought for a long time, and I didn't care much for his answer. 'Yes,' he said. 'Death would help.'

Most owners are at length able to teach themselves to obey their dog.

We all must decide: either we live our lives to fulfill a mission or make money.

And the seventh rule is if this is your first night at fight club, you have to fight.

One person can have a profound effect on another. And two people... well, two people can work miracles. They can change a whole town. They can change the world.

The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own.

Food is no longer sacred to us: in becoming too efficient we've changed its nature.

I am an American citizen and feel I am entitled to the same rights as any other citizen.

If Canada is to survive, it can only survive in mutual respect and in love for one another.

You've seen how actors make movies like Star Wars and stuff. They're never really there. They're in front of a green screen just pretending to be jumping around.

Ocean rowing is very much what you make it. Rowing technique is pretty irrelevant on the ocean. It's the psychology that's important.

For too long already we have talked about man; let us finally talk about God again.