If the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and push 'em closer.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

Maybe it is a lottery, but the universe makes it all even out in the end. The universe takes care of its birds.

I hope for nothing. I fear nothing. I am free.

I think Donald Trump is going to find it very hard to do the kind of massive change he wants.

People have said that I said I hate television. I never did say that. What I said was that I hated a lot of stuff that was on television. It's nothing about the medium itself.

When I think about it, I'm happily bewildered that people will preorder my books They'll preorder me. What a lucky guy!

I'd rather have two good friends, than 500,000 admirers.

Little Walter was the best harmonica player I ever heard in my life.

I believe that peace is not merely an absence of war but the nurture of human life, and that in time this nurture would do away with war as a natural process.

I'm telling Palestinians don't use violence. We're going to use the civilized means of international law to achieve our goals, our independence, our freedom.

Religion obviously played a role in this book and the previous book, too.