If the roads are in trouble, if bridges are in trouble, and if schools are in trouble, it's because somebody in Washington wanted to pay for something else.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?

Everyone would like the world always to be in bubble times. But that doesn't happen.

I did pull out my old Telecaster, and have been thinking I'd like to play that loud with a drummer. But I haven't actually done that yet.

Look the world straight in the eye.

Animals... are there merely as a means to an end. That end is man.

I never thought of myself in comedy at all... I loved going to the theatre and seeing people wearing beautiful clothes come down the staircase and start to dance.

British women can't cook.

There is an urgent need for a radical revision of our current concepts of the nature of consciousness and its relationship to matter and the brain.

Just as surely as distress must follow self-deceit, healing must follow self-honesty.

Mike Smith - living proof of the need for ejector seats in helicopters.