If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its stud

He spoke slowly, his voice deeper and louder, every word tacked nine-inches deep into the beams of our minds.

The subjects felt more comfortable if they played the role than if they had to be themselves.

Oh! what a luxury it is to weep, / And find in tears a sad relief!

It's never easy dealing with terrorists, but it must be done through a mixture of political, economic and administrative means.

Embracing conflict can be a joy when we know that irritation and frustration can lead to growth and the re-engergizing of ourselves and others. Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything.

How glorious the splendor of a human heart that trusts that it is loved!

Love was in the air, so both of us walked through love on our way to the corner.

Technology is always creating jobs. It's always destroying jobs.

I never do any album to beat it. I do it to extend it.