If the worst that happens is that I wake up and see a picture of myself and a headline saying, 'He wasn't very funny last night', then I've got nothing to complain about.

When I left school I was full of angst, like any teenager, and I channeled it all into comedy.

It's very likely that graduates, current employees and retirees have some wonderful pieces of Deer Park history in their closets or garages.

The most useful form of time travel would be to go back a year or two and rectify the mistakes we made.

Keep yourself busy if you want to avoid depression. For me, inactivity is the enemy.

What fun is life without a bit of showing off?

People see my impressions as a great skill and I am flattered, but there are things I can't do that everyone else can. I can do funny voices and funny faces but I can't drive.

I finally learned to love myself by dressing up as Geri Halliwell.

It's important to hold something back, though, because quite frankly my personal life is pretty dull and I don't want to bore people with it.

Comedians don't have a monopoly on suffering. But creative people are sometimes fortunate enough to be able to incorporate their most traumatic experiences into their art.

I think this [Gnomeo & Juliet] is the closest I ought to get to Shakespeare to be honest.

more. To have days cut off and at their end. To never again..........anything.

It's important to maintain an attractive smile as you age. A lighter, less beige, more white tooth color is key, but no Chiclets.

I lost in '96, in case the word hadn't trickled out, and so I made a few commercials.

For the most effective pitch, focus 80% on the problem, 20% on the solution.

Energy markets can be thought of as suffering from appendicitis due to fossil fuel subsidies. They need to be removed for a healthy energy economy.

I've been acting since 2002, around about there.

At first I thought I would have to put on an English accent and try a sort of affected Shakespeare thing.

Marketing is everything and everything is marketing.

Emerging at the other end, we will not be the same as we were; we will have become more humble, more connected to the natural world, fitter, leaner, more skilled and, ultimately, wiser.

A good [film] director is talented, imaginative, and does his homework.