If there is a wasp in the room, I’d like to be able to see it.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

No one can go back and correct his mistakes, but everyone can go forward and change their thoughts and perceptions.

Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.

T to the R-uh-O-Y, how did you and I meet? In front of Big Lou's, fighting in the street But only you saw what took many time to see I dedicate this to you for believing in me.

I started doing pot jokes, and I noticed that audiences invariably love pot jokes. Even people who don't smoke pot think it's a funny subject.

Virtue by premeditation isn't worth much.

If I got something to say or do to a man, I'm going to look that man in the eye and tell him what is going to happen. That's just me now

I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It's definitely rated R.

The administration's attempt to keep us from selling agricultural products to Cuba is an outrage. Cuba is not a threat. That is why we must do more to open Cuba - not less.

I want them poor and they deserve to be poor. You can't have capitalism without punishment.

Every thing to be true must become a religion.