If there is one thing that will make a man peculiarly and insufferable self-conceited, it is to have his stomach behave itself, the first day at sea, when nearly all his comrades are seasick.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Unfulfilled expectations bring unhappiness. Comparisons fill life with meanness. Avoid both to fill life with joyfulness.

In the civilized countries I believe there are no witches left, nor wizards, nor sorceresses, nor magicians" ~ The Witch of the North

I had to put it on the line, but it was my Tour to win and mine to lose.

Cover the canvas at the first go, then work at it until you see nothing more to add.

Our intellect has achieved the most tremendous things, but in the meantime our spiritual dwelling has fallen into disrepair.

There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.

My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.

It is the use of creativity which heals the creative wound.

Much success to you, even if you wish me the opposite.

Researchers linked smoking to cancer in the 1950s. Doctors believed them in the 1960s, but it was not until journalists believed the doctors in the 1970s that the public took notice.