If there's a God why are there such things as famine and The Jerry Springer Show.

A decorator can make lots of money - assuming she wins the lottery.

He's always been known to be entrepenurious.

Let us eat and drink: for tomorrow we diet.

I'm not much of a drinker. It only takes me one drink to get drunk . . . my fourth.

My husband lost a lot of weight on a new diet and I resent it. It's simple he just doesn't eat when I'm talking.

They say the Japanese don't experience menopause or hot flashes. If that's the case why are they the number-one fan-producing country in the world?

I don't give my weight. I weigh a hundred and plenty.

When she told her doctor that she always wanted to keep her weight exactly the same as her IQ he gave her a lecture on anorexia.

My husband yells comments like "How long till you're ready? Throw out a date."

My sister started to smell trouble when on the second day of her honeymoon the groom started asking for separate checks.

The goal was to get sane, to get whole, to be complete enough to support someone else.

There's a great difference between being positive and being delusional.

Why is my autograph so little in demand, except on checks?

Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief.

Dear me. Such harsh truths so early in the morning cannot be good for the digestion.

If we want to be better than normal we must move from good intentions to what I call God intentions.

Do not view mountains from the scale of human thought.

Parents shouldn't lie to their children-not even when they think it's for their own good. Even a little lie is dangerous.

Your career is what you're paid for. Your calling is what you're made for.

Sharks have swum the oceans for over 400 million years, but we're threatening this critically important species for the purpose of making soup - it's sad and wasteful.