If there's anything I hate it's the word humorist-I feel like countering with the word seriousist.

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.

I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.

Murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums.

Life is a zoo in a jungle.

It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.

You can make a sordid thing sound like a brilliant drawing-room comedy. Probably a fear we have of facing up to the real issues. Could you say we were guilty of Noel Cowardice?

I write when I'm inspired, and I see to it that I'm inspired at nine o'clock every morning.

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.

A hundred years ago Hester Prynne of The Scarlet Letter was given an A for adultery; today she would rate no better than a C-plus.

There is no God but God, and his name is William Shakespeare.

Brutality to an animal is cruelty to mankind - it is only the difference in the victim.

Is death that which gives meaning to life? And I said, no, life is that which gives meaning to life.

Quantum mechanics provides us with an approximate, plausible, conjectural explanation of what actually is, or was, or may be taking place inside a cyclotron during a dark night in February.

You never know when something's going to hit you in a particular way and just knock you loose.

All art is image making and all image making is the creation of substitutes.

How to Achieve The New World Order

We believe easily what we fear of what we desire

Our people are good people; our people are kind people. Pray God some day kind people won't all be poor.

It smote me to the heart that I had found no one in all the world who loved me more than all others.