If there's one thing that really annoys a god, it's not knowing something.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Whoever wishes to become a philosopher must learn not to be frightened by absurdities.

Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face.

I try to cook more now so I can control my diet and what I ingest.

Comedy Central made their own awards show. They were named best comedy channel.

The nation that leads the clean energy economy will be the nation that leads the global economy.

I wouldn't change anything that happened.That's the way the game was played when I was coming up. The game is different now. It's just a by-product of the era.

The problems of all of humanity can only be solved by all of humanity

I know, I know. It's hard to explain. All I can say is that I've been given a second chance. Maxon matters to me, and I'm going to fight for him.":)

Keep in mind that other people's actions can never 'make' you feel any certain way. Feelings are your warning indicators.

Yes, yes I am ill. I go in for the kill. Hoes is my sons, birth control, I am on the pill