If there's one word that sums up everything that's gone wrong since the war, it's Workshop. After Youth, that is.

The first, indeed the only, requirement of a diet is that it should lose you weight without reducing your alcoholic intake by the smallest degree.

The rewards for being sane may not be very many, but knowing what's funny is one of them.

If you can't annoy somebody, there is little point in writing.

Only a world without love strikes me as instantly and decisively more terrible than one without music.

If you are using an adverb, you have got the verb wrong.

A bad review may spoil your breakfast, but you shouldn't allow it to spoil your lunch.

Self criticism must be my guide to action, and the first rule for its employment is that in itself it is not a virtue, only a procedure.

It is natural and harmless in English to use a preposition to end a sentence with.

Consciousness was upon him before he could get out of the way.

Women are really much nicer than men: No wonder we like them.

You are a beautiful and wonderful soul. Recognise and illuminate it.

When I judge art, I take my painting and put it next to a God made object like a tree or flower. If it clashes, it is not art.

With one eye you are looking at the outside world, while with the other you are looking within yourself.

I do my podcast on Mondays for a specific reason. A lot of people go to work and don't like their jobs. If you give people something to laugh about, it's good.

The sad truth is the truth is sad.

One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes a revolution in order to establish a dictatorship.

I'm Johnny Christ, and I play the tambourine.

Help your pieces so they can help you

My family had a habit of collecting creatures that didn't always want to be pets. The first animal I can remember was a Lab named Zoe.

Labor's face is wrinkled with the wind, and swarthy with the sun.