If there were a god, don't you think he would have flicked Hitler's head off?

Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling.

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.

Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).

I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

Activity never equaled productivity. Inspect every activity to ensure you are producing right.

The skyline of New York is a monument of a splendour that no pyramids or palaces will ever equal or approach.

There is a certain aesthetic pleasure in trying to imagine the unimaginable and failing, if you are a reader.

To me, marriage is partly a religious thing and I'm not religious.

If we could have just screwed another head on his shoulders, he would have been the greatest golfer who ever lived.

Funny how a wife can spot a blonde hair at twenty yards, yet miss the garage doors.

Girls must be thwarted early in life.

Instinct is the direct connection with truth.

What's important is you wake up in the morning and something doesn't exist, and when you finish you day's work something is in the world that wasn't there before.

Most of the damage we cause to the planet is the result of our own ignorance.