If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

You I am sure will forgive me for sincerely remarking that you might curb your magnanimity and be more of an artist, and 'load every rift' of your subject with ore.

To come up short when you reach too far is not such a bad thing rather than not to reach at all, right?

I like when people wear a WWJD bracelet, because it's like an example of the first thing Jesus wouldn't do, probably.

I was lucky that my mother had a very well-adjusted perspective of the world, and never pressured me to do anything I didn't want to do.

As a leader, you build trust when you give yourself 100%, so that people understand with your every action, you stand for them.

Somehow it just don't seem fittin' for a bridegroom to spend his weddin' night in a tree.

He who ruleth the raging of the sea, knows also how to check the designs of the ungodly. I submit myself with reverence to His Holy Will. O Abner, I fear my God, and I fear none but Him.

I still want to get some empathy from the audience, even though she's pathetic.

It is possible at any age to discover a lifelong desire you never knew you had.

We've seen each other fight like heck, and seen each other absolutely humiliated...and we've ever held hands....but we still don't know each others names.