If they really wanted us to resist temptation, they shouldn't a made it so damn tempting.

I've been a little cranky since that house fell on my sister.

A balanced diet and a brisk daily walk will help keep you healthy, but there's nothing like a good-looking young man with a nice butt to help up your cardiovascular system.

You are a perfect woman, a magical blend of beauty, intelligence, and spirit. Without you, my life is nothing.

Yeah, world peace would be all right, but what about a day off in a slab of ham the size of my head.

There aren't many things a man finds more appealing than loyalty. Unless it's a woman with really big knockers.

I'd trade every last one of you for a moment's peace and a dog that didn't P on the carpet

It's not as if I don't like men, I just have more respect for my washing machine.

In my experience, "what the hell" is generally the most interesting decision.

There is not a simple gene pool entirely free of toxic waste.

Marriage is like a toothbrush. It starts out smooth and gets kind of prickly towards the end.

Your promise land should be your priority.

Modesty answers not the crude how of femininity, but the beautiful why.

He looked exactly the same when he was alive, only he was vertical.

We are in truth more than a half of what we are by imitation.

If you believe in love, you're setting yourself up to be disappointed.

Hope, like faith, is a principle of action. It motivates and inspires. We do not sit in our armchairs and hope for hope; we get up and go to work.

Through the Pilates Method of Body Conditioning this unique trinity of a balanced body, mind and spirit can ever be attained. Self-confidence follows.

Why leave the nut you got for one you don't know?

If the culture doesn't work, don't buy it.

What greater value could you possibly have than to be delighted in and sacrificed for by the Maker of the universe.