If two angels were sent down from heaven,--one to conduct an empire, and the other to sweep a street,--they would feel no inclination to change employments.

I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am

Although my memory's fading, I remember two things very clearly: I am a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior.

When people are right with God, they are apt to be hard on themselves and easy on other people. But when they are not right with God, they are easy on themselves and hard on others.

Amazing grace! how sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me! I once was lost but now am found, Was blind but now i see.

Our work is great; our time is short; the consequences of our labors are infinite.

May we sit at the foot of the cross; and there learn what sin has done, what justice has done, what love has done.

Thou art coming to a King, large petitions with thee bring, for His grace and power are such none can ever ask too much.

If the Lord be with us, we have no cause of fear. His eye is upon us, His arm over us, His ear open to our prayer - His grace sufficient, His promise unchangeable.

Christ has taken our nature into Heaven to represent us; and has left us on earth, with His nature, to represent Him.

This is faith: a renouncing of everything we are apt to call our own and relying wholly upon the blood, righteousness and intercession of Jesus.

There are many secrets

Here is a piece of advice. Never pay attention to what a man says when he comes. Anything might be blurted out at that moment, and it rarely means anything.

Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one . . . and got hit by a bus.

People lucky enough to live in the vicinity of an industrial hog farm are, with each breath, made keenly aware of the cause of their declining property values.

Everyone needs love, never hurt a living thing [and] don’t worry about the choices you make because everything will be fun because life is a closet filled with pool toys.

Neoclassical economics insists that advertising cannot force consumers to buy anything they don't already want to buy.

Some people always sigh in thanking God.

If you have to swallow a frog, don't stare at it too long.

Does Batman ever NOT have a plan...?

There are two great injustices that can befall a child. One is to punish him for something he didn't do. The other is to let him get away with doing something he knows is wrong.