If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

Mama says love is a sickness of the heart. Only the weak fall under its spell.

I'm too old-fashioned to use a computer. I'm too old-fashioned to use a quill.

Our country will not stand for any political plan that includes amnesty for insurgents.

I have no more cheap morals to draw from all this death.

Before healing others, heal yourself

Hillary Clinton has had a small but persistent lead since June - anywhere from 2 to 5 points. The stock markets and the election betting pools are predicting a Clinton win.

Virtue shuns ease as a companion. It demands a rough and thorny path.

After death there is nothing.

All I ever intended was to make a living at what I do. Everything I've achieved since then is above and beyond.

There’s a day that is coming when all the last will be first and every orphan will be home.