If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone.

I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!

I used to psych myself up before the show and now I do the complete opposite: I psych myself down. It's 12:30 at night, you don't want some guy yelling at you. You want some guy just talking to you.

From 1934 to 1963, the biggest criminals in America ended up on Alcatraz. Nowadays they end up on Wall Street.

I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.

A new survey says one in three adults will be dressing up for Halloween. As for me, I'm not going to do anything. I'm going as Congress.

This story is true. Of course, there are many lies therein and most of it did not happen, but it's all true. In that sense it is deeply religious, perhaps even biblical.

There's something spiritual in hard work. Spirituality isn't all aromatherapy and scented candles.

There's something I believe wholeheartedly: Cynicism is the true refuge of the pseudo-intellectual, .. Cynicism is easy. Joy is an extremely advanced spiritual and intellectual tenet.

HD doesn't mean anything to me. It's a technical thing. It's like demographics. A lot of people know about it.

I didn't say no because between safety and adventure I choose adventure.

A gentleman is never in a hurry.

I grew up in a tough neighborhood and we used to say you can get further with a kind word and a gun than just a kind word.

Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.

You have to remember the value of your individuality - that you have something special and different to offer that nobody else can.

Do not remove the kinks from your hair--remove them from your brain.

Most unhappy people need to learn just one lesson: how to see themselves through the lens of genuine compassion, and treat themselves accordingly.

Everyone has obstacles to overcome, but those with great faith can conquer whatever stands in the way.

I love L.A., but you can get into a lot of trouble out here.

The Atheist is God playing at hide and seek with Himself.

If one has to earn a living, therefore, the safest occupation is that most remote from the arts.