If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter. He has a heart capable of mirth, and naturally disposed to it.

The greatest sweetener of human life is Friendship.

What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.

I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than of cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs.

If you wish to succeed in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother, and hope your guardian genius.

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body.

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.

No one is more cherished in this world than someone who lightens the burden of another. Thank you.

The voice of reason is more to be regarded than the bent of any present inclination; since inclination will at length come over to reason, though we can never force reason to comply with inclination.

Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking everything praiseworthy in human life.

Feeling powerless is the result of yielding to fearful thinking.

I’ll always be doing stand-up as long as people are still interested in seeing me.

There is no economic problem and, in a sense, there never has been.

Revenge is profitable, gratitude is expensive.

I love to act. I want to be doing this forever, and I love to learn from people who I think are better.

My mom is really tough.

Nothing can be done quickly and prudently at the same time.

The strain of life is what builds our strength. If there is no strain, there will be no strength.

Ps. I am pretty certain Beyonce doesn't need you fighting any battles on her account. Seems like she's got everything covered perfectly well on her own.

You cannot make a revolution in white gloves.