If whisky or salt won't cure it, then to hell with it. I worry about important things.

A home without a grandmother is like an egg without salt.

If you ever meet someone who cannot understand why solitary confinement is considered punishment, you have met a misanthrope.

I simply like guns because you can't shoot people without them.

I wasn't used to children and they were getting on my nerves. Worse, it appeared that I was a child, too. I hadn't known that before; I thought I was just short.

Writers who have nothing to say always strain for metaphors to say it in.

If we define a misanthrope as 'someone who does not suffer fools and likes to see fools suffer,' we have described a person with something to look forward to.

The more immoral we become in big ways, the more puritanical we become in little ways.

God may have loved the common people, but a trip to any shopping mall suggests that He made far too many of them.

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.

Democracy is the fig leaf of elitism.

When we live in the love of God, we begin to pay attention to people the way God pays attention to us.

There exists a miracle in every moment.

Eventually you can't help but figure out that, while gender is a construct, so is a traffic light, and if you ignore either of them, you get hit by cars. Which, also, are constructs.

We must learn to accept life and to accept ourselves ... with a shrug and a smile ... because it's all we've got.

If you like an instrument that sings, play the saxophone. At its best it's like the human voice.

The things I want to know are in books; my best friend is the man who'll get me a book I ain't read.

I think Rick Berman just called me and asked me if I wanted to do the show [Star Trek: Enterprise], and he said they'd write an arc if I'd do it.

Just as with the quartet, each part of a painting is telling a different story.

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

I'm also, than anything else, a teacher and a student. And without the four hours, I'm pretty monsterish. For real.