If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Love is a state in which a man sees things most decidedly as they are not.

The value of a moment is immeasurable. The power of just ONE moment can propel you to success and happiness or chain you to failure and misery.

The reality about life is that challenges are inevitable.

To provoke laughter without joining in it greatly heightens the effect.

You ought to be thankful a hole heaping lot, for The places and people you're lucky you're not!

I just said to myself, She's just like you, you know, she can be nervous

Stay fly, you can call me Have a Safe Flight

Our little time of suffering is not worthy of our first night's welcome home to Heaven.

Guessing isn't knowing.

We want best efforts guided by theory.