If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Passion for books is pleasurable.

Body needs variable of time to be able to settle presence of soul in this three-dimensional space.

The thing about the sun… is that it’s always there. Like sometimes, you can’t see it, but it never really goes away.

In youth the days are short and the years are long. In old age the years are short and day's long.

There is not on the face of the earth-after the Book of Allah - a book which is more sahih than the book of Malik.

You are only as powerful as that which you stand.

I curse in everyday life, but usually when I stub my toe. The topics I'm discussing, it's not necessary to curse. I found [cursing] is a sign that a joke is not finished or well-written.

There is no need for fur - since there are compassionate alternatives.

What I'm really concerned about is reaching one person. And that person may be myself for all I know.

Life marches by, I suggest you get on with it.