If ye wear underwear, it's a skirt. If ye dinna, it's a kilt.

Have ye ever known a female who wasna a bit of a witch in her own sweet way?

A bear! I've landed on a wild and wicked bear!

What the feckin' hell is PMS, I'd like to ken?""Petty Male Shit, " she yelled.

Driving a stolen plane will be nothing compared to the ride with a fired-up Scot.

He was so damn hard, he could chip the ice from his truck's windshield with his rigid pecker.

I think...I shall call ye Beauty, for I shall be yer beast.

The little woman, wearing a pink and black zigzag-striped pantsuit over a black turtleneck, resembled a skinny zebra who'd OD'd on Pepto-Bismol.

Ye have taught me something I never understood.""What? How to get rid of Parisian Pink Pecker Disease?

These days, you could stage a three-point orgy in the garden and nobody would bat an eye...

If you are too weak to stand being hit and too stupid to avoid it, then you deserve more pain.

holes are interesting. there are books about holes.

If a man does not have the sauce, then he is lost. But the same man can be lost in the sauce.

Hee must have a long spoone, shall eat with the devill.

As a breastfeeding mother you are basically just meals on heels.

Art is a form of love. Art is the ultimate gift. Art heals life.

Hillary Clinton is a dead fish when it comes to being entertaining and alive. Without a prompter and a written script, she's nothing.

You don't have to stick with these recipes. They're guides. As I say, they're a way in. Have fun with them. It's an easier way to cook in a busy life, once you get the hang of it.

It's beyond my control how I'm perceived.