If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.

Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.

No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!

Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.

Don't go back over your life with a red pen.

Some people hate Jews. Fine, alright it's been done. I mean, that's part of my problem with it. Could you hate somebody new? I'm not giving you any suggestions but the Belgians have had a good run.

The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented.

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.

I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.

The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself.

But I have seen the best of you and the worst of you, and I choose both

We cannot allow the badness to be triumphant on earth because we do not have a spare world!

For a finite-size system to persist in time (to live), it must evolve in such a way that it provides easier access to the imposed currents that flow through it.

I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.

Brothers think I'm dissing, but I'm really on the dicks Look into my album, kid, you'll see all the flicks

Make a mess. Clean it up.

You don't want to buy a surprise, because then the surprise is how awful it looks on you.

Madness need not be all breakdown. It may also be break-through.

Bitterness only consumes the vessel that contains it.

Information flow is what the Internet is about. Information sharing is power. If you don't share your ideas, smart people can't do anything about them, and you'll remain anonymous and powerless.