If you are flattering a woman, it pays to be a little more subtle. You don't have to bother with men, they believe any compliment automatically.

Few women care to be laughed at and men not at all, except for large sums of money.

As a writer one is allowed to have conversations with oneself. What is considered sane in writers is made for the rest of the human race.

The darker the subject, the more light you must try to shed on the matter. And vice versa.

There is a school of thought that believes that sleep is for the night. You appear to be out to disprove them.

A comedy is just a tragedy interrupted, I once said. Do you finish with the kiss or when she opens her eyes to tell him she loves him and sees blonde hairs on his collar?

There are very few people on top of life, and the rest of us don't like them very much.

A gentleman ... sleeps at his work. That's what work's for. Why do you think they have the SILENCE notices in the library? So as not to disturb me in my little nook behind the biography shelves.

Cats names are more for human benefit. They give one a certain degree more confidence that the animal belongs to you.

Salad, I can't bear salad. It grows while you're eating it, you know.

He really is terribly heavy going. Like running up hill in roller skates.

The joy of giving last forever.So give with love and forget it never.

Christmas is the gentlest, loveliest festival of the revolving year - and yet, for all that, when it speaks, its voice has strong authority.

So please, for the love of gender- go bloom. Or water someone else while they do.

You want to know the hardest thing about being smart? What? I pretty much always know what's going to happen next; there's no suspense.

I don't really inject the rock 'n' roll thing, what I take from rock 'n' roll is probably the melodies and the musical behind it.

No matter how skillfully a man play the game of life, there is but one test of his ability--did he win?

Reviewing what you have learned and learning anew, you are fit to be a teacher.

The cure for crime is not the electric chair, but the high chair.

I'm not very good at being a wife because I break all the rules.

I had a period of unemployment for about nine months after my first big break, and it's the greatest lesson I ever could have learned, never to believe you're home and dry.