If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

The job of a citizen is to keep his mouth open.

Celebrity distorts democracy by giving the rich, beautiful, and famous more authority than they deserve.

If there is one notion I hate more than another, it is that of marriage - I mean marriage in the vulgar, weak sense, as a mere matter of sentiment.

Fulfilling the vision of the Irvine Ranch master plan has been a lifetime dedication and lifetime passion, and I am hopeful the heritage of our Irvine stewardship will live on in many new ways.

It isn't possible to love and to part.

I believe Android will be stronger in the developing world than it is in the developed world.

I will never have a heart attack. I give them.

Nobody gets out of love alive. You turn into a menace or a pest when you've been rejected.

The only mistake guys can make is to try too hard with their appearance. There's something very unmanly about it.

All my trust in the politicians had been rubbed away.