If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Always stick to the story. It was when you started backtracking that people got in trouble. Interrogation 101.

I miss that jellied coconut and thatinvigorating coconut water, Oh, how I miss my sweet Barbados, "Yes, this is your lost daughter

Unfortunately, the Republican leadership in the House right now seems to have been strangled by the tea party.

Good editorial writing has less to do with winning an argument, since the other side is mostly not listening, than with telling the guys on your side how they ought to sound when they’re arguing.

Fondly we think we honor merit then, when we but praise ourselves in other men.

Potentiality knocks on the door of my heart. [On Seeing The 100% Perfect Girl One Beautiful April Morning ]

The world will avenge itself upon all happiness in which it has no share.

There are men who strike at liberty under the term licentiousness

I would not invest in any shoe that is too trendy.

Life's a short trip. You'll find out.