If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

God himself teaches the way to heaven.

I'm looking forward to influencing others in a positive way. My message is you can do anything if you just put your mind to it.

It's nice and quiet but soon again starts another big riot!

I just have to practice hard, get better, and go out there and win impressively - that's all it comes down to.

People have maybe, sometimes, said that I can, occasionally, be a teeny bit edgy and judgmental.

I want to figure out a way to not be stupid with money, then make a whole bunch of it, then I want to move to Outer Mongolia. I want to milk a yak. Maybe I'll just settle for a cow.

No sane black man really wants integration! No sane white man really wants integration!

We raise our voices in holy gladness to celebrate the victory of the risen Christ over the terrible forces of death.

I do know this: When somebody has to look great on the screen, that's the death of funny.

Funny how someone telling you not to do something can talk you into it.