If you believe that your thoughts originate inside your brain, do you also believe that television shows are made inside your television set?

You're miserable, edgy and tired. You're in the perfect mood for journalism.

Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.

Read comics. All comics. And then cut them open to steal their power.

I want a tattoo over my heart that reads TRY HARDER YOU LAZY PARAMEDIC SHITBAG OR I WILL HAUNT YOUR BEDROOM FOREVER

That means that the universe is two-dimensional. Matter, energy, time, you, me and the floor are holograms.

The single simplest reason why human space flight is necessary is this, stated as plainly as possible: keeping all your breeding pairs in one place is a retarded way to run a species.

Wolves ate even mighty hunters, for there was no honor or code among predators, and everyone's guts steam the same way when torn open on a cold night.

Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!

What if I left my memory in the future and I have to catch up to it?

Writing is basically a job for people who like punching themselves in the face, I’m pretty sure.

Focus on making yourself better, not on thinking that you are better.

Spirituality is the poetry of our experience. Science is the gauge of our reality. Together, they create the essence of our humanity.

I am fiscally prudent and socially progressive. I believe in protecting a woman's right to choose. I believe in marriage equality.

What spectacle can be more edifying or more seasonable, than that of Liberty and Learning, each leaning on the other for their mutual and surest support?

The most despairing songs are the most beautiful, and I know some immortal ones that are pure tears.

I've made great friends through acting. When I'm with Victoria Wood and Julie Walters, we have grand fun. We can make each other howl with laughter because we know each other so well.

I'd love to do a golf movie. I turned down Don Johnson's role in 'Tin Cup.' I regret that.

I do indeed write on the road. My laptop goes with me everywhere.

If you remember your lineage, you will never feel lonely.

Some of these people make my skin crawl.