If you believe the disappointments - if you believe the disappointments in the last few years are a detour and not our destiny, then I'm asking for your vote.

We will strengthen our security by building missile defense, restoring our military might, and standing by and strengthening our intelligence officers.

I like PBS. I love Big Bird ... But I'm not going to keep on spending money on things to borrow money from China to pay for it.

I'm not going to wear rose-colored glasses when it comes to Russia, or Mr. Putin.

I have never once regretted missing a business opportunity so that I could be with my children and grandchildren.

My wife drives a couple of Cadillacs.

I have some friends who are NASCAR team owners.

I am in favor of stem-cell research. I am not in favor of creating new human embryos through cloning.

Isn't it fitting that so many of those who have contempt for the private sector will soon find themselves back in it?

There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what.

I'm not familiar precisely with what I said, but I'll stand by what I said, whatever it was.

Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it doesn't make much difference anyway.

Sorrow spares no one, and scars respect no person.

What man ain't the honestest cove in his own eyes?" Grote's round face is a bronze moon in the dark. "'Tain't good intentions what paves the road to hell: it's self-justifyin's.

I have never obtained any ethical values from my scientific work.

The basic human rights documents-the American Declaration of Independence and the French Declaration of the Rights of Man-were written by political, not by religious, leaders.

If somebody mistreats you, treat’em good. That kills’em.

Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.

Honey, a man can't keep his gun in a cookie jar. It just isn't done.

I can't seem to keep my heart from leaking out of the cracks, like sand clutched in a fist.

It's the discipline to understand that the things that might make you rich or things might make you famous are sometimes worth pursuing and sometimes are not.