If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

Whatever we do in Life, let us not forget to enjoy it. Life is a Gift and will soon end. We may have Goals and Aspirations, but we must enjoy every Moment of Life.

the Great Vaccination — the vaccination against the stupidity of the intelligentsia.

Science does not need religion. Religion does not need science. And the twain shall never meet

Come live with me and be my love And we will all the pleasures prove That valleys groves or hills or fields Or woods and steepy mountains yield.

First I have tried to achieve the highest quality of technical facility possible so that I have at my fingertips the availability to create anything I want. Then I paint.

Had there been a reporter along with Lieutenant Calley when he massacred those people in Vietnam, I think that probably wouldn't have happened.

Our mandate is to be a nation of laws. And the Supreme Court is the place where we look to safeguard our civil rights and our individual liberties.

There is nothing worth thinking but it has been thought before; we must only try to think it again.

The eye, the window of the soul, is the chief means whereby the understanding can most fully and abundantly appreciate the infinite works of Nature; and the ear is second.

I enlisted when I was a boy. The Navy looked after me like my mother. It fed me, took care of me and gave me wonderful opportunities.