If you can't drink a lobbyist's whiskey, take his money, sleep with his women and still vote against him in the morning, you don't belong in politics.

Be warned that being an expert is more than understanding how a system is supposed to work. Expertise is gained by investigating why a system doesn't work.

Is there anything that can replace life?

The true measure of all our actions is how long the good in them lasts.

A storybook marriage? No, not at all. What Mitt Romney and I have is a real marriage.

I have been governor every now and then, but I am a forester all the time.

If you think the price of organic food is expensive, have you priced cancer lately.

Do we really need more romance attached to the act of blowing people away?

I pity anybody who has to spend a day with me.

When you start, it's not to do with the material so much. It's more to do with how you can control a crowd and make friends with an audience and sell your brand of humor.

I see a lot of comments on Twitter and stuff about how ugly I am, how bad I am at the drums, how awkward I look, and I'm like, yeah, I agree with most of those things.

Every time you think you can’t do something... someone else thinks they can.