If you can't laugh at yourself, you may be missing the colossal joke of the century.

Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.

I know body hair bothers some women, but a lot of men like a fluffy partner.

Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that's only a recent development.

To live in Australia permanently is rather like going to a party and dancing all night with one's mother.

I drift along, thinking about the past a great deal. The past is so reliable, so delightful, and the best place to live. I end up there quite often, you know; it's very comfortable and dependable.

It's an old Aboriginal word meaning 'Let's get together and have fun'. They gave us the word because they had no further need for it.

I have outlived most of my more athletic contemporaries who jogged, golfed and squashed themselves into coronary occlusion.

The truth is deafening, no matter how softly it is spoken.

New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.

He's very, very well-known. I'd say he's world-famous in Melbourne.

Hope is that tiny flame in a candle that continues to glow even after the wax around it has melted.

Not everything happens for a reason. Sometimes life just sucks.

How could drops of water know themselves to be a river? Yet the river flows on.

The best time I ever had with Joan Crawford was when I pushed her down the stairs in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

I go in for the eye test, and I don't know about you, but I concentrate like crazy during the eye exam. You don't want to get no 'D' on that thing and end up with these big thick Coke bottle glasses.

As to my success here I cannot say much as yet: the Indians seem generally kind, and well-disposed towards me, and are mostly very attentive to my instructions, and seem willing to be taught further.

Anyone that's trying to do something to improve sound... that's all good.

She would have liked to sit upon a rock and listen to words, not of any man, but detached, mysterious, poetic words that she alone would interpret through some sense inherited from sleep.

In America, they shoot budgets and schedules, and they don't shoot films any more. There's more opportunity in Europe to make films that at least have a purity of intent.

The single simplest reason why human space flight is necessary is this, stated as plainly as possible: keeping all your breeding pairs in one place is a retarded way to run a species.