If you can't stop the bad thoughts from coming to visit, at least you can make fun of them while they're hanging around.

The building was on fire, and it wasn’t my fault.

When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching - they are your family.

Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka.

I've always felt that the best whips and chains are in the mind. With a little creativity, the physical ones are hardly necessary.

HARRY DRESDEN—WIZARD Lost Items Found. Paranormal Investigations. Consulting. Advice. Reasonable Rates. No Love Potions, Endless Purses, Parties, or Other Entertainment

I checked my gear, my pockets, my shoelaces, and realized that I had crossed the line between making sure I was ready and trying to postpone the inevitable.

I'd made the vampire cry. Great. I felt like a real superhero. Harry Dresden, breaker of monsters' hearts.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of trauma, I will fear no concussion.

I died. I died and someone made a clerical error and I am in Heaven.

There is the world that should be and the world that is. We live in one and must create the other.

I have six acres in front of my own house, which I very rarely work on. Most of the work occurs on farmers' fields around me. And I like the discipline of working on other people's land.

I have a running war with the media. And they sort of made it sound like I had a feud with the intelligence community.

At these crossover points, there are a lot of beings, nonphysical beings that cross over back and forth constantly.

It is easier to discover a deficiency in individuals, in states, and in Providence, than to see their real import and value.

Everyone in comedy thinks if you go to the U.S. you become a global star but, unfortunately, I've always been a bit anti-American - so I never did.

Five years on TV is a really, really long time.

You can be absolutely certain that when you feel you are being most unfairly tested, you are being prepared for great achievement.

[Race] had no substance, like a shadowy shape that terrifies in the dark but vanishes by the light of day.

You don't have a man, you need spaghetti.

My bones are destined to make corals in the Ganga.