If you can't think of anything nice to say, come sit here beside me.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

If YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT ANYONE..COME SIT BY ME.

My specialty is detached malevolence.

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

He sprang from the grass roots of the country clubs of America.

I can be President of the United States, or I can control Alice. I cannot possibly do both.

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit.

I'm the only topless octogenarian in Washington.

No secrecy, no business.

The lack of unconditional self-love usually breeds the hunger for attention.

Don't compare yourself to other MOMS... We are all just winging it, just some hide it better than others.

I don't want to grow old gracefully. I want to put up a bit of a fight.

How often are the perpetrators of hate-crimes discovered to be self-loathing? Valued individuals do not strike out against strangers.

It's better to be in love than watch it.

Comedy is not supposed to be funny. Its supposed to tell the truth and then that's funny.

It is not happiness until you capture it and store it out of the reach of time.

The most onerous slavery is to be a slave to oneself.

Examine the present and learn from the past to see how the future will unfold. Too often we just look at the present and base our actions solely on that.