If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

But the mechanics of learning to 'throw your voice' are pretty simple. Anyone with a tongue, an upper palate, teeth, and a normal speaking voice can learn ventriloquism.

When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show.

As humans we like to laugh at our fears, we like to whistle in the dark.

A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things.

I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny.

Everybody has their favorite character.That's the only way I pick, whatever is going on in society, whatever I think folks will laugh at that's what I come up with.

I started in a business background, but then it was like, 'you know, I can't do math,' so I changed it to a liberal arts degree and got my Bachelor of Arts in Communications and it made sense.

I've got an answer to where Osama bin Laden is and I know, he's dead and living in my suitcase with my dummies.'

I used to pick Priuses out of the grill of my Hummer.

You never know how long your fifteen minutes of fame is going to last.

A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed at some indefinite time in the future.

We don't steal from the rich and give to the poor. We steal from the poor because they can't fight back --most of them-- and the rich take from us because they could wipe us out in a day.

Some love is just a lie of the heart, the cold remains of what began with a passionate heart.

That is the consolation of a little mind; you have the fun of changing it without impeding the progress of mankind.

In my lab, we're interested in the transition from chemistry to early biology on the early earth.

I put on your sequined ball gown and I checked the mirror there. Why, I looked like Cindy Crawford, but with much more body hair.

Life's experiences should turn into real understanding.

Hope is the belief, more or less strong, that joy will come.

The greatest waste … is failure to use the abilities of people…to learn about their frustrations and about the contributions that they are eager to make.

Sidney Lumet's chief preoccupation wasn't art. It was right and wrong in the American city, nearly always in New York.