If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.

I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.

A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of "Yeah, we might have to reboot."

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

Real men don't use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer's opinion on how to put this together.

I'm a creative guy, artistically with graphics.

Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we're just the tallest people living here.

To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.

He seems like a man who knows what he wants, and the problem is he wants what I want.

Tired is not a word in my vocabulary.

And falling's just another way to fly.

Instead of trying to educate the human race, they should imitate the pedagogues of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, who concentrated their efforts on the education of a single person.

I want you bad like a natural disaster. You are all I see. You are the only one I want to know.

Take a picture of this so Isaac can see it when they invent robot eyes.

Hip-Hop is Dead cause America is dead culturally.

Still I rise Still I fight Still I might crack a smile Keep my eyes on the prize See my haters tell em hi

The challenge of co-operation in today's age of quarrel can be achieved by adjusting every situation according to the higher principle of loving God.

Some missionaries are giants in the Spirit and pygmies in skills in the Spirit. Work hard to develop a balance. Your leaders, and you, should teach the skills to each other.