If you ever meet someone who cannot understand why solitary confinement is considered punishment, you have met a misanthrope.

A home without a grandmother is like an egg without salt.

I simply like guns because you can't shoot people without them.

I wasn't used to children and they were getting on my nerves. Worse, it appeared that I was a child, too. I hadn't known that before; I thought I was just short.

Writers who have nothing to say always strain for metaphors to say it in.

If we define a misanthrope as 'someone who does not suffer fools and likes to see fools suffer,' we have described a person with something to look forward to.

The more immoral we become in big ways, the more puritanical we become in little ways.

God may have loved the common people, but a trip to any shopping mall suggests that He made far too many of them.

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.

Democracy is the fig leaf of elitism.

True nostalgia is an ephemeral composition of disjointed memories.

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy to be your morning lollipop, but I need to eat, too.

Have you noticed how Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen look nothing alike, and yet they both manage to look exactly like their father, Martin?

Call it the Tiger Mom effect: In the business world today, failure is apparently not an option.

Not that I wouldn't have been equally happy to see the old buddies and see it all start up again that way. But this was more of a work situation, and a very good one.

Although our interests as citizens vary, each one is an artery to the heart that pumps life through the body politic, and each is important to the health of democracy.

As a writer, one is busy with archaeology.

But whoso is heroic must find crises to try his edge. Human virtue demands her champions and martyrs, and the trial of persecution always proceeds.

The mind does not easily unlearn what it has been long in learning.

This third day of October, 1942, is the first of a new era in transportation, that of space travel

What I want to do is to make people laugh so that they'll see things seriously.