If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.

I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.

I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.

I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.

If you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

our two postcard hearts were frightened in unison under the tenacious look of the unfathomable old man who kept on eating one banana after another

I might be crazy, but at least I'm not insane.

Women never really care to face the truth when their hearts are involved.

What better way to get to know someone than through her choice and treatment of books?

I spent all my youth with horses.

Conduct yourself towards your parents as you would have your children conduct themselves towards you.

It was just at the end of the golden era of BBC comedy, which was fantastic.

I Once wrote: "In mathematics process and result are equivalent."

I start phone calls at 4 A.M. to cheer people up. The housebound, people in the hospital. People who, after decades, still can't get over what happened 10 or 15 years ago.