If you flatter yourself properly you will be better able to enjoy yourself. Stretch your joy so that others enjoy you too.

Like pollen on a honeybee, flattery clings to the things you tell yourself.

Quotations calcify into clichés.

Cunning authors cut to be quoted.

Flatter yourself critically.

Quotology disdains no quotations whatsoever, a duty it bears stoutly, with bloodshot eyes and sagging shelves.

At its best, flattery is truth well dressed, and it is best dressed with fine see-through fabrics. Honest flattery can caress a lover, cover up a gaffe, and muffle aggression.

Misquotation is quotology’s swamp. Amateur quoters mix and mangle Shakespeare and Scripture. Professors gaffe and printers bungle. It’s a mess we must wade into.

[D]ifferent people have different quotational gravity.

Flattery works like a drug.

In phrases as brief as a breath worldly wisdom concentrates.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.

Morning without you is a dwindled dawn.

Time unfolds beauty, wonder, and mystery to reveal the auspicious tapestry of life.

Scientific fashions last longer than women's fashions but not as long as men's

The Government's enthusiasm for 24 hour drinking puzzles me... We want people to be responsible, yet we urge them to drink.

books have been my greatest comfort, castle-building a never-failing delight, and scribbling a very profitable amusement.

The cow's point of view deserves more literary attention.

Knowledge of that which concerns us infinitely is possible only in an attitude of infinite concern.

A noble heart, like the sun, showeth its greatest countenance in its lowest estate.

I'm afraid I'm just too intense to have soft ideas, you know, about what to read when you're trying to pass the time.