If you give everybody a slice of pie, you will still have more than enough.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

The effect of change in surroundings is like that of lapse of time in making the past seem remote.

And failure, if you want to know, Dakota, is just another opportunity to try again.

Things are not magical because they've been conjured for us by some outside force. They are magical because we create them.

My mother taught me how to apply my own makeup at 13 years old, and the most important lesson I learned is to never touch my eyebrows and to cleanse, tone, and moisturize twice a day.

The piebald mare paws at the sand; I see her digging out of the corner of my eye and hear her grinding her teeth. That bridle's her curse, this island her prison. She still smells of rot.

Whatever you are doing in the game of life, give it all you've got

If you keep walking past the barbers, eventually you'll get a haircut.

During the winter my attention was attracted to the changes in the stars and planets in the sky.

I've always looked on myself as one of a band and never sought a solo career.

Recess and lunch are the best.