If you go to a bad movie, it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie, it's two years.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

The first time you went out, you became mixed up with a group of radical political terrorists.”“That could have happened to anyone!

Some people fight with each other for worldly thrones

No work deserves to be criticized that has not much in it that deserves to be applauded.

In Spiritual formation we are aiming at a character and life that is so shaped that the deeds of Christ routinely and easily come from what is inside.

I started, me by myself, found a great co-founder, got up to 95 people, and then it ended with me by myself again.

Even more than feeling healthy, most people want to feel free and in control.

[Some people think] that storytelling is telling jokes. So they have to be discouraged! Then others think that storytelling-is like an encounter group . . .

To play for a draw (at any rate with White) is to some degree a crime against chess.

The door to happiness opens outward.

You will be a poet because you will always be humiliated.