If you had no enemies, you had no fun.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

Broad daylight does not encourage the apprehension of horror.

Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles.

Success - keeping your mind awake and your desire asleep.

What is meat for one is not for another--no accounting for fancy.

There is one thing that freezes a musician more than the deadliest physical cold, and that is the spiritual chill of an unresponsive audience!

What the people out there are calling for is honesty which has been missing for quite some time now. We are tired of all the deceit and incompetence of this government.

Vice is a dreary business. And virtue is not a lot of fun, either.

The great, rewarding thing about directing is that you're overseeing the whole thing. When you're an actor, you're just one department.

Even hooligans marry, though they know that marriage is for a little while. It is alimony that is for ever.

Meslier was the most singular phenomenon ever seen among all the meteors fatal to the Christian religion.