If you had of told me age 10 that in 19 years time I would be on a stage in Salford performing with Les Dennis in a sitcom I had written, I would have believed you.

Health food shops can make people feel very important; it's like a brand new religion with people trying to convert you to quinoa.

I told the ambulance men the wrong blood type for my ex, so he knows what rejection feels like.

A problem shared is attention gained.

Until I was about 14, I was a fat boy, or at least I looked like a fat boy. I think that being funny was a bit of a defence mechanism for me, so I ended up being a bit of a joker.

I don't know if I was funny as a child, though I always thought my parents really enjoyed listening to me sing.

I knew 'Be Our Guest' would be performed on a set and in costume, but anyone with a history in Theatre In Education will know that can mean anything.

I was a precocious child.

The strangest thing about writing a sitcom, is never knowing if it will become anything but words on a page.

A ‘biomass’ man is not deeply analyzing things to draw a meaningful conclusions

When you are present, you are not needy.

I was very aware when I went to the Academy Awards that it would probably be my first and last time. So I thought my input should really be about fertility, and I thought I'd bring some eggs.

Some actors couldn't figure out how to withstand the constant rejection. They couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Art is not an anaemic cult but a dynamic culture.

I can't say I can foresee the future and tell the stars, you know. But I do have an understanding for my own reality, just elements and things that I've learned from.

The people in Hollywood are fabulously stupid.

Every city is always changing, on its own trajectory.

I rarely agree with what clients ask me to do.

Hollywood has always been good to me. I've never blamed Hollywood for my problems.